Everyone has went to bed. I remain awake and tidying up the house since I am hosting my sister in laws baby shower in just a few short weeks. My husband is turning into a zombie. I wish so bad that I could take his pain away. It eats at me mentally, emotionally, and physically. Allie is starting to ask questions. How do you tell a 5 year old what is going on without breaking her precious heart. I have been coping with everything using retail therapy. I don't buy stuff for me or Shane, I buy everything for Allie. I have, however, been purchasing scrap booking supplies. I want to put some books together for them. Work has been a complete cluster fuck this week and any plans I had made were destroyed by real flu and brown bottle flu. Any other people I would have told to go fuck themselves by now. I have to maintain a professional demeanor and some time it can be trying. I have no idea I have left with my husband. It could be 6 months......it could be 6 years. But every time someone wants to use some lame ass pussy excuse, I want to punch them in their clam. Grow the fuck up. The world does not revolve around you. Right now it is about us and getting Shane better.